The Lonely Hearted with the Long Haul Trucker

Squawk, squawk!

It started with desperate, lonesome souls looking for love or a taste of affection and ended with a group of competitive truckers regaling me with stories on how they won the top title from their home state.

Tonight it was a mixed bag of people participating in a mixer and participants in the nation’s top trucker’s title joining for an evening of dueling pianos. Sounds exciting but regrettably, it was the furthest thing from the truth. Instead of a large group of singles trying to find love, the bar was filled with aces trying to find a pair. The first customer through the door was a bling man with a cochlear implant and guide dog waiting patiently an hour before we opened the doors. He was from Clearfield and had taken the bus for the mixer. He was a decent looking guy and unlike most blind guys, a pretty friendly fellow.

His guide dog named Hank led the fellow to a chair where he waited patiently for me and my cocktail waitress/bartender-in-training to get the club set up. Wednesdays are my busiest nights of the week even if they are my top sale nights. I have to organize the liquor room and start the slow process of prepping the club for the busier nights of the week. With Hank and his handler camped out waiting for us to get ready, I started getting things put in place quickly.

The function was a bust. The organizer was some creepy guy who wore a backpack but had a really nice pressed dressed shirt and tie. He was distributing the game Banana-grams to all of the guests but they were all guys. Most of the customers that I greeted when asked what I could get for them was a response for a date or a girl. It’s not like they were all losers but they were painfully shy and awkward. Nervous and shifty, I wasn’t surprised that they had a tough time meeting women.

When girls finally showed up, I noticed that they came in pairs with one of the ladies acting as a support partner. They were nice but clearly disappointed with the turnout and the threat of being asked to play Banana-grams. I guess I never think about meeting women because I am in a relationship and I bartend for a living. This simple equation means that I don’t worry about talking to people and being myself. It would be nice if some of the guys from would follow suit.

The second group of guys that couldn’t close a rusty chain link fence were guys that won state trucking championships coming to Utah to compete to be the best in the nation. They were a mixed bag of …well, truckers. Imagine what a long haul trucker looks like dressed up for the night and guarantee you wouldn’t have been disappointed. T-shirts stretched to the limits of tinsel strength, bad baseball caps and a love (and I mean a love) of Coors Light.

They drank hard, tipped lightly and complained like I was trying to take their 2-gallon jug of Mountain Dew.

Because of a leaky faucet at home, I left right at 1am to a bar that was in disrepair to find a house not as bad as I thought.


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